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Love Lesson #15 – Why you close your eyes during the first kiss.

I did a workshop the other day and a woman asked an interesting question, “Why do we close our eyes during the first kiss?” She wanted to know if it had to do with romance or was there a scientific reason behind it.

The first kiss is a big deal. In fact it can make or break a relationship. According to the author of The Science of Kissing, about 59 percent of men and a whooping 66% of women end a relationship because of a bad first kiss. In other words, the rest of your senses where registering “ding ding ding we have a winner” but a bad first kiss said “sorry game over.”

So why would we close our eyes and literally leave ourselves in the dark at such an important point. At first glance this seems biologically contradictory. Your senses tend to work together to enhance a stimulus for example; your morning coffee would not be as pleasurable to your taste buds with out your sense of smell.

So when it came to kissing you would think that keeping your eyes open would also enhance the experience. So why do most people close them. The reason is in people, vision is a dominant sense. Therefore, when it’s put up against another sense like your sense of hearing, your vision can overshadow the experience.

Therefore if you close your eyes, it allows the other senses become more acute. In fact, you may have witnessed this or done it yourself. You are trying to pay attention to music or something you are listening to and you might find yourself closing your eyes in an effort to decrease distractions. Closing your eyes blocks out interfering visual stimulation.

But there is another important reason you close your eyes particularly on the first date. During the first date, you are still trying to decide if you are attracted to this person.

How you feel about someone may ultimately be dictated by your homunculus. What’s that you ask?


This is a homunculus. He is distorted appearance is meant to give you a visual representation of how your senses work. As you can see his hands, lips and tongue are wildly exaggerated. That’s because your brain devotes much more importance on their tactile stimulation.

That’s why that first kiss is so important. It gives your hands, lips and tongue the opportunity to register its vote. All your senses come together to determine if something is desirable or not.

But there is one more another important reason you close your eyes on the first kiss. It’s your memory. A richly stimulating moment that activates a variety of senses has been found to increase memory cells associated with long-term memory. In other words, this person you are kissing could be a very important part of your future. By closing your eyes on the first kiss, it can help you to remember this moment for the rest of your life.

So it appears that closing your eyes during the first kiss is both scientific and romantic.

I hope you enjoyed this episode of Love School. Please share this with a friend and don’t forget to subscribe so you don’t miss a thing.

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